Learning From Failure

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN

I recently did a workshop and a young leader in the workshop reached out to me after the session. She was looking for advice on how to bounce back from a leadership failure. Her story is one that I have heard before from leaders beginning their leadership journey.

I wish I had this class before I made some serious mistakes in leadership. I did not mean to come off as unapproachable and uncaring but that is what has happened. Several nurses have reported on exit interviews that I am hard on people. There is truth to this – I have very high expectations of myself and others. I am now learning that it is okay to have high expectations but not everyone appreciates the direct feedback I have given. It has come across as harsh and I never intended it to be. Some staff are more relational as we have discussed in this class and I did not take this into account. I feel ashamed of my failure to meet the needs of these staff. 

As I listened to this story, I responded to her that she had taken the first step to change her approach. Failure is an inevitable part of learning. If you don’t fail, you don’t learn. If you don’t learn, you’ll never change. I suggested she put a sticky on her computer to remind her of this:

F – first

A – attempt

I – in

L – learning

When I spoke with her, I realized that we don’t prepare our leaders for the possibility of failure nor do we have to talk about it can be transformative. Yet, every successful nurse leader has had the experience of using the wrong approach in giving feedback, not being selected for a coveted position, failing to achieve a goal, making a bad judgment call, or possibly being fired or asked to step down from a position.  I was fortunate in my early career to have some leader mentors that I could confide in without any fear of being judged.  I worked with one Chief Nursing Officer who was remarkable in her ability to identify the upside of any leadership mistake that I made.

While failure is inevitable we don’t publicly discuss it. Yet, it is part of the leadership experience. We celebrate our successes and most of our nursing journal articles focus on what is working in organizations. I edit a leadership journal and rarely receive articles on initiatives that have not worked. Social media posts tend to be the high light reels of people’s lives and not their failures. If you never fail, you probably are not taking risks that will lead to your personal growth or innovation in your organization. This is especially true in the current environment. Reflection is important after failure to grow and learn from the experience.  Too often, leaders get into the blame game when there is a failure rather than admit their role in what happened.  Some key questions to ask include:

• What happened and why?
• What key signs did I miss leading up to the failure?
• What were the consequences of what happened here?
• What did I learn as a leader from this situation?
• How will I apply any lessons learned in the future?

Our failures can be some of our best teachers if we pay attention and learn from them. Fredrich Nietzsche once observed that “that which does not kill us makes us stronger”.  This is wise advice for leaders as they learn and grow from both their successes and failures.

© emergingrnleader.com 2023

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Other Programs/Books Your Leaders May Find Valuable

From Traditional Nurse Leader to Nurse Leader Coach – Click Here for the Flyer

For new leaders and emerging leaders, consider doing The Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership Program – Click Here for the Nuts and Bolts Flyer Final

New Leader Development Option in 2023 – Team Coaching Designed to the Unique Needs of Your Organization  Leader Coaching Brochure

Read the Nurse Leader Coach – Available at Amazon and Other Book Sellers

Recommended Book by the Association of Critical Care Nurses – The Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership: Your Toolkit for Success