By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN
One of the challenges that new leaders have in their roles is establishing leadership boundaries. The problem has become even more challenging over the past four years. Nurse leaders now oversee more staff who need increased coaching due to inexperience. New managers often want staff to visibly see they are supported and tend to work long hours, including getting involved in direct care activities. Emails and texts from staff 24/7 are no longer that unusual.
Many leaders tell me they started 2025 with a resolution to establish tighter leadership boundaries around their work. Yet, they find themselves in the same patterns they had before resolving to change. In his new book Shift, Ethan Kross discusses why we often fail at our goals: we don’t link our goals with the obstacles to constructively achieving them. He recommends using the WOOP (Wish-Outcome-Obstacle-Plan) framework to manage our emotions during the change process more effectively. I will use the case example below to illustrate how to use it.
Sonia has been in her critical care director role for almost six months. While she enjoys being a leader, she works so many hours that she feels emotionally burned out and exhausted. She has two young children at home and often does not come home until 8:00 PM, shortly before their bedtime. Her husband has been very understanding but has told Sonia that the pace she has set for herself in the role is not sustainable. It is not good for her mental health and is short-changing her family. Her attempts to set tighter boundaries between work and home have not succeeded.
Wish – Sonia wants to leave her ICU by 5:00 PM each day.
Outcome: By spending time with her children in the evening, Sonia wants to feel less burned out in her role and be a better parent and spouse.
Obstacles—Sonia is a people-pleaser. She wants her staff to feel that she is visible and supports them. She sets a goal of leaving by 5:00 PM but finds herself helping staff with their care and waiting until the night shift arrives so she can check in with them. The staff loves her visibility, and she is getting positive reinforcement from them about her leadership effectiveness. She has been reluctant to ask her mentor for help with her problem but knows her current pace is unsustainable.
Plan – Sonia needs to build her plan around her obstacles. She will need to plan a hard stop to her day, establish a going home ritual, and discuss it with her staff. She can plan to come in later and stay later once or twice each month to check in with her night staff. Sonia would also benefit from using her mentor as an accountability partner to check in with her daily (until her plan becomes her routine) at 5:00 PM to ensure she has left. When she seems to be drifting back to her old behavior, her accountability partner can remind her that saying yes to staying late is saying no to quality time with her children.
Sonia is in a difficult situation right now. Nursing administration research shows that when managers reach the point of exhaustion and burnout, they often decide that the only way out of the problem is to leave the position. That does not have to happen here, but Sonia needs a more effective plan to change. The WOOP framework has been widely research and found to be effective. It is worth trying as a strategy.
Read to Lead
Kross, E. (2025). Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You. New York: Crown Publishing.
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