By Rose O. Sherman, Ed.D., RN, NEA-BC, FAAN
A nurse manager recently asked the following question – ” I am struggling with the negativity and anger of our team – I just can’t seem to turn it in a positive direction. What can or should I do? It is so corrosive.” This is a question that I have been asked quite a few times over the past two months as leaders struggle with what they describe as a culture of discontent. Some rules of thumb for leaders about negativity include the following:
- Don’t feed into yourself.
- Coach those who are very negative by using a situation-behavior-impact approach, as described in this blog.
- Keep team discussions about things within the circle of influence of the team.
- Communicate the progress that the team is making despite the current challenges.
- Stay future-focused and solutions-oriented.
While all of these suggestions are helpful, they will not necessarily turn around a culture of negativity. I was intrigued when a leader recently told me they were implementing Will Bowen’s program to build a complaint-free team culture. I was unfamiliar with his work but bought and read his book, A Complaint Free World. He based his work on a Maya Angelou quote – If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it – change your attitude.”
During the past 29 months, healthcare teams have been massively disrupted. We now find ourselves in a place where we lack many things – especially staff. It has led to a level of anger, disillusionment, and chronic complaining that leaders have never contended with before. There are no easy fixes to any of what is happening, but it is becoming clear that constant complaining may worsen the situation.
Bowen has researched the complaining behavior and contends that it can quickly become habitual. Left unchecked, most of us are inclined to have a negative bias about things. This can easily exacerbate when surrounded by negative team members whose conversations evolve into chronic complaining. While this may feel good at the moment, research demonstrates that when we complain less, we are happier. Our overall well-being is better. When we complain, we focus on what is wrong and do not move toward improvement. In a sense, we disempower ourselves. New staff quickly pick up on a culture of complaint when it has become normalized. It is not a recipe for retention on teams.
Bowen has developed a program designed to build a complaint-free environment. He does not suggest that all complaining is unjustified but rather it is habitual for some. The goal is to shift the emotional compass of the environment from negative to positive. What people learn when they start a program is that they complain a lot more than they would like to believe. Criticism and sarcasm are both forms of complaining.
Bowen recommends a 21-day challenge to a complaint-free environment. More than 15 million people worldwide have taken up the challenge of trying to go twenty-one consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, and in so doing, forming a new, positive habit. You wear a wrist bracelet as a potent reminder. Bowen suggests switching the bracelet from wrist to wrist with each spoken complaint and keep switching until you go 21 consecutive days without complaining. He warns that if you complain a lot – this may take far longer than 21 days. The goal is you can change your thoughts by changing your words and then begin to create a better culture by design.
There are no guarantees about whether you can turn around a team culture using this strategy, but it may be worth a try.
Read to Lead
Bowen, W. (2013). A Complaint Free World. New York: Three Rivers Press.
© emergingrnleader.com 2022
Workshops are now also available onsite or hybrid.
Our Most Popular Right Now – Become the Boss No One Wants to Leave: Nurse Recruitment and Retention in Turbulent Times Retention WS Flyer
Give your leadership team the gift of a highly rated webinar – Nursing Leadership in 2022: Rebooting after a Life-Quake A Nursing Leadership Reboot Workshop
If you have a lot of new leaders, consider doing a Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership Program – Nuts and Bolts Flyer Final
Read the Nurse Leader Coach – Available at Amazon and Other Book Sellers
Recommended Book by the Association of Critical Care Nurses – The Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership: Your Toolkit for Success
LinkedIn
Instagram