By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN
What is the key to your leadership success? It is a question that David Rubenstein asks some of the world’s greatest leaders interviewed for his new book, How to Lead: Wisdom from the World’s Greatest CEOs, Founders, and Game Changers. It is interesting how many mention that they believe their listening skills play a crucial role in their success. Yet if you look at the content of most leadership development programs, little time is spent on the fine art of listening.
It is key to coaching, so I have focused on listening as part of the Nurse Leader Coach workshop. We talk about the need to be much more Yoda and much less Superman. Being a Yoda means that you restrain from jumping to conclusions and listen with curiosity. Coaches should spend 80% of their time listening, and only 20% of the time talking. A nurse leader asked me – what do you do if being a Yoda is just not in your DNA? I replied that what’s great about this question is that you are authentic and know the areas that you need to work on.
Listening is a skill and one that can be learned. Not listening can be viewed as a habit and one that can be broken. A nurse leader shared with me that to break herself of the practice of breaking into conversations instead of letting others finish their thoughts – she has a sticky note on her computer that says WAIT. It stands for Why Am I Talking. When she does this, she is learning to quiet her agenda.
The most effective leaders leave followers with the feeling that they have been heard. Often, that is all staff wants to do is vent – not to have you jump in and give advice. This is where active listening becomes critical. The basic concept of active listening is repeating back to the nurse what you heard while maintaining eye contact.
No one expects leaders to have all the answers. When leaders don’t listen, staff may feel angry, disappointed, and disrespected. When leaders do listen, their staff are more engaged, feel valued, respected, and more hopeful. Authentic dialogue does not happen when we pretend to listen, and won’t happen if we don’t listen at all.
Leaders told Rubenstein in their interviews that listening starts with asking great questions – and then staying curious about the responses. This is key to becoming more coach-like. When you ask questions, you create a safe space for other people to give you an unvarnished truth. Leaders need this to be effective. We know that the best leaders are learners, and to learn well, we must listen well to learn something new.
Don’t let nurse leaders in your organization go without development in 2020. A Coaching Staff to Promote Resilience program is available, or schedule your customized Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership Virtual Workshop taught by experts for either new or experienced leaders. Nuts and Bolts Flyer
Read Rose Sherman’s book available now – The Nurse Leader Coach: Become the Boss No One Wants to Leave
© emergingrnleader.com 2020
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