Learning from Criticism - Emerging Nurse Leader

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, FAAN

“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” Frank A. Clark

A nurse leader recently talked with me about a session that she had with a Human Resource manager. She was being advised on how to manage a serious disciplinary issue with a staff member. During this session, she was criticized for how she had managed the employee’s performance issues up to this point. “I felt like the criticism was not only directed toward my management skills but also as to whether I was too caring to be a manager” she said. “I left feeling deeply distressed about the discussion with my confidence shaken.”

It can be difficult to manage criticism when it is both unexpected and is aimed at one of your core values. In the situation above, the leader had always felt that her ability to be caring with staff was a leadership strength. She was surprised that it might not be viewed that way by another person. We talked about strategies she could use to learn from this criticism, and how it could be used to improve her future leadership performance. These strategies include the following:

1. Recognize that the criticism was probably not directed at her personally but rather how she had managed this situation.

Negative feedback can be hard to take in a leadership role when you work hard, and may even feel a little under-appreciated by higher levels of management and your own staff. In this situation, the HR director is probably frustrated with the performance management issue. It is being framed as a much larger issue involving your leadership style. You could interpret it as a personal attack when it may not be.

2. Discuss the situation with someone you trust to give your feedback

It is easy to misinterpret criticism or over-react to what was said. I told the nurse leader that she had taken an important step in seeking feedback from someone outside the situation. While I may not have agreed with the way the HR manager had handled the criticism, the intent seemed to be good and with a goal of helping the manager.

3. Put a timer on her reaction to the situation and don’t ruminate

Ruminating about criticism can be toxic to your mental health and undermine your confidence. I urged the nurse leader to set a timer on herself (24 hours as an example) to think about the situation and then just move on.

4. Acknowledge the truths in the feedback

There is usually some truth in the negative feedback that you receive. Don’t be discouraged by the feedback but take the criticism as an opportunity to improve and grow. I asked the leader to ask herself the question “Is there truth in what was said here?” She acknowledged that she had overlooked certain performance issues in this situation because she was concerned about the staff member’s personal life which was in turmoil. Being a caring nurse leader is important but part of caring is to demand competent performance from staff so patients receive the best care.

5. Focus on something good about your criticizer and mention it to her

The problem with situations where you are being criticized is that people may make valuable critical suggestions that you don’t hear. Their tone and style of criticism may cause you to shut down. When you are being criticized, it is helpful to think of something positive to say to the person that is giving your the feedback. Statements such as the following can be very useful to help you defuse the negativity: Thank you for coming to me directly to discuss your feelings or I appreciate you taking time to give me this feedback. You are not making any judgements about the legitimacy of the feedback, but you are acknowledging that you hear what is being said.

Accepting constructive criticism is important for leadership growth. It is important to remain objective, ask clarifying question and see your critic as someone who wants to help you to improve. If you are able to do this, it is possible to learn to accept constructive criticism in the spirit that was intended.

Read to Lead

Garner, R. (2006). Criticism management: How to more effectively give, receive, and seek criticism in our lives. Woodlands, TX: Prescient Press.