By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN
Most nurse leaders tell me that they strive to be fair and don’t demonstrate favoritism toward specific staff. However, in a recent Harvard Business Review article, authors Ginka Toegel and Jean-Louis Barsoux argue that this does not happen in the actual workplace. The research, they contend, demonstrates that all managers have in-groups and out-groups on their teams. Most leaders have staff with whom they have close, warm relations and demonstrate relational leadership when interacting with them. However, leaders also have staff with whom they operate in a much more transactional manner.
Favoritism in the workplace happens when a team member or manager gives unfair preferential treatment to another. This special treatment generally has less to do with someone’s job performance and more with nepotism or personal relationships. Managers might not realize they’re picking favorites or might not be doing it on purpose.
During a recent webinar, frontline leaders shared that they see these behaviors with their own CNOs and are sure that some staff probably feel the same way about them. Some obvious and more subtle favoritism behaviors include the following:
- Soliciting the advice and opinions of certain individuals on their team while not being as inclusive of the suggestions of those in the “out-group.”
- Recognizing some staff as valuable resources while not identifying and using the strengths and contributions of others.
- Marginalizing viewpoints that are in conflict with that of the leader.
- Engaging in social events with some on the team to the exclusion of others.
- Actively coaching and mentoring some team members in their careers but not others.
- Recommending favored staff for promotions, mentorship opportunities, and special assignments.
- Defaulting in conflict situations to the viewpoints of favored employees versus the opinions of other staff.
Leader favoritism has serious consequences. Staff who are not in the “in group” feel moral distress, are less likely to be engaged in their work and are at risk for turnover. They also lose trust and confidence in the leader.
I recently coached a nurse manager who had approached his director when he saw this happening in his department. He told me that his director shut down and told him that he was wrong without asking him to share what was leading him to feel this way. He resigned within the month and reported why on his exit interview but there was no organizational follow-up. There was no trust he observed and he could not work in an environment like that.
Toegel and Barsoux recommend that leaders do a self-audit on their own performance on a regular basis by keying in on the following 3 factors:
- How inclusive are you in seeking out the opinions and company of every team member?
- Do you regularly acknowledge the strengths and contributions of every team member?
- Are you actively coaching and assisting all your staff to grow and learn?
Relationship building with all team members needs to be intentional. There will always be staff whose style and personality is more closely aligned with yours. You will undoubtedly feel more comfortable with these staff BUT you must build relationship with everyone. Don’t just assume that you don’t demonstrate favoritism. Your team may see things very differently than you do.
Reference Toegel, G. & Barsoux, J.L. (Harvard Business Review July-August 2024). Stop Playing Favorites.
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