When the Soft Skills Become the Hard Skills

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN

When we think about leadership, we often focus on key business skills that are important for leaders to learn. These competencies include learning to manage a budget, plan for resources, monitor quality measures, and think strategically. Often called the “hard skills,” a significant part of leadership development is focused on building these competencies. An interesting shift has happened with COVID-19 as leaders learn that the hardest skills may be the soft skills of communication, navigating conflict, promoting resilience, engaging staff, and reducing negativity. The following is a sample of what I am hearing from leaders.

We had an engaged team, but I am not sure what has happened – everyone is just in survival mode.
I have always been a good communicator, but now I struggle – I am not even sure how to begin some conversations mostly remotely.
When you see the fear in the eyes of a nurse – it is hard to know what to say next.
I thought that COVID-19 was going to be a sprint, but now it has turned into a marathon – we are all tired and exhausted – how can I engage my staff when I am not engaged.
The whole world seems okay with incivility, so it is not surprising that we see it at work – honestly, some of what people say shocks me, but I am not all that surprised given what is happening.
We had someone from our corporate wellness program join us on a ZOOM call with our leaders’ to-do deep breathing exercises – I noticed about half in the group turned off their webcams. Later some told me that 2 minutes of deep breathing was not going to make them resilient.
Some of my younger nurses ask me if things will always be like this in the future – I tell them I hope not, but I grief for what used to be.
I have PPE fatigue with some of my staff – I am trying to keep them safe – but they tell me that their skin is ruined, they are hot and have trouble breathing through the masks.
Some of my staff have become quite negative – I try to be supportive, but at the same time, I have to deal with their bad energy, which impacts morale.
I am energy depleted in a way that I have never felt in my career. The boundaries between life and work are diminished. I find myself thinking more and more about retirement when this ends.

There is no silver bullet to solve all the issues that I hear from leaders. It is comforting to know that you are not alone. What we do need to do right now is to help leaders with some of their soft skills. What can they do – what should they say and what is reasonable to expect in terms of staff engagement during this challenging time. It won’t always be like this, but for now, we need to run the mile that we are in.

Don’t let nurse leaders in your organization go without development in 2020. A Coaching Staff to Promote Resilience program is available or schedule your customized Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership Virtual Workshop taught by experts for either new or experienced leaders. Nuts and Bolts Flyer

Read Rose Sherman’s book available now – The Nurse Leader Coach: Become the Boss No One Wants to Leave