By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN
On a recent webinar, a nurse leader observed that he feels like he has become a life coach in addition to being a leader. He is certainly not alone in this observation. As I told him, the good news is that your staff trust you, or they would not be having these conversations with you. The bad news is that these conversations can be hard and emotionally draining because many nurses have serious life challenges as an outcome of the pandemic. Some challenging conversations that leaders have with staff touch on problems such as:
- Domestic abuse
- Substance abuse
- Loss of a beloved family member to COVID
- Severe anxiety and stress
- Depression
- Burnout from work and pressures at home
- Children failing in school
- Serious personal finance issues
- Lack of childcare
- Unsupportive spouses who are not helping at home causing marital discord
- Family estrangement over disinformation around the pandemic
- Spouses or partners who will not wear a mask and refuse to socially distance
- Anti-vaccine beliefs among family and friends
These are conversations that leaders might have had occasionally pre-pandemic but are now a frequent occurrence. Nurse leaders tell me they have become better listeners and more empathic. One leader remarked that pre-pandemic, she was of the mind that you leave your problems at home. This experience has taught her that staff brings their baggage with them, and she needs to exercise more vulnerability.
I recommend that in these life coaching situations, you are clear about whether the staff member wants to vent (maybe they have no one else to talk to) or whether they really want some coaching. Listening is the best tool in your coaching toolbox, along with remembering that the best solutions come from within. Some staff will need professional help and a referral. With others, you can help them set some goals using tools like the circle of influence. A key question that often brings out clarity about the next steps is – For you to solve this challenge, what needs to be true that is not true today?
It is hard to be a nurse leader today. Maintaining positivity can be very challenging. Life coaching conversations are hard to have and can drain your energy. Yet as I have said before – you need to run the race that you are in. In this current race, the nurse leader has never been more important in frontline staff’s lives.
© emergingrnleader.com 2021
Launch 2021 by giving your leadership team the gift of a highly rated webinar – Nursing Leadership in 2021: Rebooting after a Life-Quake A Nursing Leadership Reboot Workshop
Read the Nurse Leader Coach – Available at Amazon and Other Book Sellers.
Coming Soon a New Book to Strengthen Your Leadership in 2021 – The Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership: Your Toolkit for Success
LinkedIn
Instagram