Learning to Listen - Emerging Nurse Leader

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN

What could your organization do to increase your work satisfaction? That question was asked in the July 2022 ANA pulse survey with almost 12,000 RN respondents. Not surprisingly, improved wages and staffing ranked number one and number two. The third highest priority was genuinely listening to my voice and addressing my concerns. Of the three top problems, this is the one that nurse leaders have the most control over.

We often forget that there is a link between outstanding leadership and great listening. Yet if you look at the content of most leadership development programs, little time is spent on the fine art of listening. Leaders think they need to have all the answers even in situations where they don’t. But it is crucial to realize that it is the listener who decides whether you have communicated or not. Close listening can be so powerful, even without many words. You won’t have to have all the answers – admitting that is creating a vulnerability that will make you more powerful, not less, as a leader.

Listening is a crucial skill in coaching, and we know that younger generations want their leaders to be more coachlike and less like traditional bosses. To listen effectively, you need to be much more like Yoda and much less like Superman. Being a Yoda means you restrain from jumping to conclusions and instead listen with curiosity. Coaches should spend 80% of their time listening and only 20% of the time talking. A nurse leader asked me – what do you do if being a Yoda is not in your DNA? I replied that what’s great about this question is that you are authentic and know the areas you need to work on.

Listening is a skill and one you can learn. Not listening is a habit and one that you can break. A nurse leader told me that to stop her practice of breaking into conversations instead of letting others finish their thoughts – she has a sticky note on her computer that says WAIT. It stands for Why Am I Talking? When she does this, she learns to quiet her agenda and be okay with silence.

The most effective leaders leave followers feeling that they have been heard. Often, all staff wants to do is have an opportunity to vent– not to have you jump in and give advice or defend your position. This is where active listening becomes critical. Active listening is repeating what you hear to the nurse while maintaining eye contact.

Staff may feel angry, disappointed, and disrespected when leaders don’t listen. When leaders do listen, their teams are more engaged, feel valued, respected, and more hopeful. Authentic dialogue does not happen when we pretend to hear; it won’t happen if we don’t listen.

Listening starts with asking great open-ended questions. When you ask questions, you create a safe space for other people to give you the objective truth. Questions such as:

Tell me what you are concerned about right now?
Are there things we can do for you today that will make your work easier?
What should I know is happening in our environment but might not know?
What ideas do you have to improve our recruitment and retention?
When you are short-staffed – how do you decide what to do and what you can miss?
What question would you like to ask me but are unsure how I would react?
If you were Queen or King for a day – what one thing would you change in this environment?
What could we do to help you feel better appreciated?
What do you wish you could do more of in your role?

We know that the best leaders are learners, and to learn well, we must listen well to learn something new. You will not agree with some things, and it is OK to say – I appreciate your perspective, but I see things differently. Some things said may be hard to hear, but better to know than not. Some things are fixable, and some are not. Our nurses want us to do a better job of hearing their concerns – otherwise, they will voice them, but it will be on an exit interview.

Book your 2023 Leadership Development Programs Now – Two New Programs Available Virtual or Onsite – For Nurses and Other Healthcare Leaders

From Traditional Nurse Leader to Nurse Leader Coach – Click Here for the Flyer

Rebuilding Your Nursing Team in 2023: Coming Together after Falling Apart – Click Here for the Flyer

Our Most Popular Right Now – Nurse Recruitment and Retention in Turbulent Times – Click Here for the Retention WS Flyer

For new leaders and emerging leaders consider doing The Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership Program – Click Here for the Nuts and Bolts Flyer Final

Read the Nurse Leader Coach – Available at Amazon and Other Book Sellers

Recommended Book by the Association of Critical Care Nurses – The Nuts and Bolts of Nursing Leadership: Your Toolkit for Success