Help New Managers Set Work Boundaries

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN

This week, I was reminded of how much many new managers struggle with work-life balance after assuming the role. The audience was young managers, most in their role for less than one year. Many have young families and were working well into the evening hours often ignoring their children and spouses. The pace they set for themselves was not sustainable. This could be part of the reason that we are seeing so much turnover in these frontline leadership roles.

For many nurse leaders, the toughest parts of the job are managing themselves and putting boundaries around their work. This is especially true for new leaders who are struggling to accomplish everything that is expected of them in their leadership roles. It is not uncommon to find that some leaders work 10-12 hours each day, and then continue to answer texts and emails on the weekend.

The problem with not having boundaries is that the pace of work can become unsustainable. New managers often feel that the only way out is to leave the position. We have established a culture in many settings where working long hours and not taking breaks is a badge of honor. The fallout of this is seen in our staff, many of whom are burned out and disengaged. Nurses look to their leaders to role model good work-life balance but too often they see quite the opposite.

Authors Gionta and Guerra in their book From Stress to Centered point out that boundaries serve many functions in regaining control of our lives. They help to protect us, to clarify what is our responsibility and what is another’s, to preserve our physical and emotional energy, to stay focused on ourselves, to live our values and standards, and to identify our personal limits. They recommend four key steps in setting your boundaries:

Identify your limits – we are often our own worst enemies when it comes to working, and can have challenges saying no. Getting clear about what your limits are–emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, etc is an important first step. This guides us to know when we are stepping over lines and moving into destructive patterns. Limits are a very individual thing and may vary considerably among leaders.
Pay attention to your feelings – feelings are an important gauge of whether we have moved into overdrive with our work. Pay very close attention when you feel discomfort, resentment and/or guilt. These feelings are often cues to yourself that a boundary issue may be present. If you feel these feelings repeatedly then it is time to restructure your boundaries.
Give yourself permission to set boundaries – nurse leaders often feel that should be able to cope with a situation and say yes because that is what they are expected to do. You may believe this despite the evidence that it is not good for you, leading you to feel drained and overextended at best, and taken advantage of at worst. You may question whether you even have the right or deserve to set boundaries in the first place. When these doubts occur, reaffirm to yourself that you do indeed have this right, so give yourself permission to do so, and work to preserve them.
Consider your environment – work environment context plays a very key role in how comfortable leaders may be in setting boundaries. Your environment can either support your setting boundaries–making it easier for you–or present obstacles to boundary setting–making it more challenging for you. That is why nurse executives play such a key role in making it OK (even demanding it) for their leaders to set boundaries.

I recently spoke with a nurse executive who had taken a new position and was frankly appalled at some of the behaviors of his predecessor such as meetings, phone calls and emails on the weekends and late at night. He immediately set to work rebuilding a culture that promoted better work-life balance. He told me that at first he often rounded on the units at 6 pm at night to see which leaders were still in the building and he would send them home. Not all leaders are fortunate to work for someone who will help them set boundaries. To sustain ourselves in leadership in the long run, we need to do this for ourselves (and our staff). It is the key to a healthier work and home life.

Read Rose Sherman’s new book available now – The Nurse Leader Coach: Become the Boss No One Wants to Leave

Read to Lead

Gionta, D.A. & Guerra, D. (2015). From stressed to centered: A practical guide to a happier and healthier you. Santa Barbara: Sea Hill Press.