Happiness Traps at Work

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN

There are times in ones career when there are issues in the work environment that make it impossible to be happy. When this happens, the right choice may be to leave the position. But sometimes when we are unhappy at work, it is because of our own behavior. In a fascinating article in this month’s Harvard Business Review, Anne McKee discusses what she describes as “happiness traps” or things we do ourselves that cause unhappiness. She discusses the following three most common happiness traps:

1. The Ambition Trap

Many leaders by nature are high achievers which is a good thing because it helps them in executing initiatives that move their careers forward. But there can be a big downside to this relentless competitive focus on moving our careers forward. A win at all costs mentality can destroy our social relationships and make us miserable. A can do attitude if overdone can ultimately derail us professionally and personally if not kept in check. We can become so focused on the next big thing that we lose sight of the impact that it has both on us and the people around us.

2. The Should Trap

The should trap is doing what we think we should do rather than what will make us happy. It can lead us to take positions that make us miserable because we “should try to advance our careers” or “should make more money”. It can lead us to work in cultures that are not who we are because it is “a good position”. It can be hard to resist professional choices that seem to be good ones but are not the right ones for us.

3. The Overwork Trap

In today’s 24/7 world, it is so easy to fall into the trap of working all the time to the exclusion of family, friends, exercise or sleep. Overwork can easily trap us into an unsustainable life style that causes great unhappiness. McKee suggests that for some leaders, work can be addictive assuaging our guilt and helping us to escape from personal problems. It becomes part of our identity that can be difficult to stop.

McKee recommends that to break free of the traps, we need to expect our work to be fulfilling and to make us happy. Too many people have just the opposite expectation. We should expect that work can fuel our passion by giving us purpose and hope for the future. We should also expect that we can develop some true friendships at work. If none of this is true in your work setting – then something is wrong. It could be the setting but it might also be your own lack of expectations. The key to breaking free is acknowledgement of our bad habits and development of greater self-awareness. She advises that if we are unhappy, we should ask the following questions:

Which happiness trap most affects me – how does it help or hurt me?
How does this happiness trap impact my relationships – who benefits and who is harmed?
What would life feel like without this trap? How would others benefit?

Read to Lead

McKee, A. (September-October, 2017). Happiness Traps. Harvard Business Review. Available at https://hbr.org/2017/09/happiness-traps