Getting Out of Your Own Way - Emerging Nurse Leader

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, FAAN

I recently had a former student talk with me about the challenges that she was having with her career. I asked her why she thought things were not moving in the direction that she wanted them to. Initially, she began blaming others for what was happening but ended up acknowledging that she self-sabotaged some of her career opportunities. The reality was that she had failed to move on some important opportunities because of crises in her personal life – some of which were a result of her own doing. Her personal journey is not unusual. We often observe staff with high potential who can’t get out of their own way to move to higher career success. They choose to either blame others or environmental circumstances for what is happening to them when often their own behaviors are self-defeating. Getting one’s career back on track can be challenging but it is very doable and here are key actions to take:

1. Take Responsibility for Your Past Behaviors and Actions

Admitting self-defeating behaviors is an important first step. Blaming others for what happens to you is an unattractive and unproductive personal trait. If you have been the type of person who has waited on the sidelines and expected others to recognize your abilities and reward you for them – admit it. It is true that life can be very unfair but our much of our situation is within our control. Career success is really not built on big milestones but rather the countless decisions that we make each day on how we react to situations and how we use our time. We do need to realize that we are in control of our own destiny. Establishing our personal priorities and sticking to them is important.

2. Demonstrate Confidence

Lack of confidence plays an important role in self-defeating behaviors. All of us battle our own share of insecurities but we can make the decision to be confident and act confident in spite of them. You will build confidence through preparation and decision willingness in the face of uncertainty. This entails the willingness to be bold even when you may not feel bold. Sometimes we need to stop analyzing and start acting. There will always be downsides to any decisions we make.

3. Be Gracious to Others

What I noticed with my former student is that she now feels she has fallen behind her professional colleagues in where she is in her career. While to a certain degree this is true, I reminded her that life is a journey not a race. When you feel lost and overwhelmed, reaching out for help to others and graciously acknowledging their achievements is important. Revel in the success of others and make it a point to bring others along when you begin to achieve your own success.

4. Be Grateful for What You do Have

The columnist David Brooks has recently focused on the power of gratitude. He has noted that many times in life, people are disappointed because they have unreasonable expectations about what will happen. Learning to temper our expectations and feeling grateful for what we do have can lead to greater happiness. Having an attitude of gratitude can help to balance out the negative effects of the challenges and stresses.

Getting back on track with one’s career can be challenging but not impossible. We can often feel very alone in our journey and sometimes hopeless. I am an avid read of biographies of leaders. What always amazes me is the level of adversity that most great leaders have overcome to achieve their goals. What we see in the public eye often obscures a more complex back story of how the leader did have to get out of his/her own way to move forward. This journey as I told my former student begins with small steps in a different direction.