Don't Burn Bridges - Emerging Nurse Leader

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN

I recently talked with a young nurse leader who is very distressed at how she is being treated by her current employer. She has found a new position that she thinks will be much better for her. She is very angry and her inclination is to share her dissatisfaction with others. My advice to her was simple —-resist the temptation. Author John Acuff advises that some bridges need to be closed BUT you don’t need to set them on fire. Rather it is wisest to just walk away both verbally and digitally because digital comments can be every bit as harmful. No one wants to see you as a member of the “we hate our jobs” club. It will not serve you well into the future. You can never tell when you might need these relationships again. The world of nursing is smaller than you might think.

The following tips provide important guidance about how to manage a situation where you have been either asked to leave a job or do so on your own but not under the best circumstances:

1. Don’t stay too long after you have submitted a resignation because your position power will decline immediately.
Although your inclination may be to stay for 30 days to help get things in order for a transition, this may not be the best plan in this situation. Stay long enough to tie up loose ends but recognize that you are no longer viewed as part of the organization. You may not be included in decision making by other members of the executive team.

2. Don’t keep rehashing the situation in your own mind.
There are many reasons why a working relationships in an employment setting do not work out often having little to do with job performance. There may factors totally outside your control.

3. Remain positive with your colleagues.
You are leaving your position but other members of the team will be the ones that continue in your absence. They need time to grieve your loss as leader and will look to you for guidance. Don’t play the role of victim and stay upbeat. Minimize any negative remarks that you make about the leadership. Let your team know that these relationships don’t always work out.

4. Demonstrate class in all of your actions but seek an assurance that you will be given a positive recommendation.
It is important to set yourself up for a good recommendation especially when you have been with an employer for any extended length of time. You want to be sure the trail you leave is a positive one.

5. Be transparent about what has happened without whining or criticizing the organization.
Relationships sometimes don’t work out and everyone can understand this. You can simply say that you have had a great years with the organization but that it is time to do something else. Even if it is the policy of your organization, it is usually best for leaders to completely avoid an exit interview especially in this scenario.

6. Reconnect with your network.
If you have been with one employer for an extended period of time, there is a strong chance that your current professional network outside your work environment might be weak. This is a time to reconnect with colleagues and to join LinkedIn if you are not in that social network.

I am a firm believer that when one door closes, another one opens. Keep in mind that ultimately, you are the architect of your transition so make sure that you can feel proud about your own behavior during a difficult transition.

Read to Lead

Acuff, J. (2015). Do Over: Make Today the First Day of Your New Career. New York: Penguin Publishers.