By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, FAAN
One of the most important lessons that I learned as a new leader (the hard way) was that not every battle in my work setting was worth fighting. Each of us in our leadership role has only a finite amount of time. While we may be tempted to battle through every conflict because we feel we are “right”, battles can take an enormous amount of time and personal energy that would be better spent doing something else. Choosing our battles wisely may actually make us much more effective in winning those that are important to us. Selecting those situations where the consequences really matter to us will allow us to do a better job of preserving our energy, relationships and our peace of mind. To do this we need to carefully assess each situation and reflect on the following questions:
1. Is this situation within my sphere of influence?
Both the Dalai Lama and the late Stephen Covey urge us to consider whether we truly have influence in a situation where there is conflict. While something may bother you and be in your “circle of concern” as Dr. Covey described it, it may not in fact be in our “circle of influence”. Ask whether you have true power to change the situation and whether there is a strong likelihood that you can reverse the situation with our involvement. If the answer is no, it would be better to pass on the battle.
2. Do I want to invest the social capital that this battle might involve?
A wise mentor once told me that you can win the battle but lose the war because people don’t forget. You don’t need to fight every battle just because you feel challenged. Carefully consider how pursuing a battle will be viewed within the organization and whether the outcomes will be worth the relationships that might get damaged through arguments. Just being right may not be enough to make the investment. Is this battle even worth your time? As a leader, you don’t have an unlimited supply of social capital and good will in your organization so it is important to use it wisely.
3. Is this my battle to fight?
Some battles are really none of our business but others want to involve us. Think through carefully any show of support in a battle that you agree to provide to someone else. Personal relationships can easily pull us into situations where we take a side and invest energy only to regret it in the long run because there was no real “right” or “wrong” on the issue.
4. What is the long-term impact if I do nothing?
We should always leave “doing nothing” as an option to consider. If the conflict does not involve a serious professional, ethical or legal issue, there may be no long-term impact if you do nothing. There may be no absolute right or wrong in the situation. It takes a stronger person to just let things go rather than jumping into the fray and over-reacting. Thinking beyond the short term is a very powerful albeit underutilized leadership strategy.
The author and spiritual teacher Eckart Tolle has written about the importance of viewing things in life differently and seeing problems as situations. Your leadership battles can either be dealt with now or left alone and accepted as part of the present moment which could change. Ideally as leaders, we would love a conflict free workplace where battles never happen but this is unrealistic. In these situations, the most powerful weapon we have is control over our own behavior. Choosing our battles wisely may ultimately prove to be much wiser than fighting through every disagreement.
Read to Lead
Covey, S.R. (1990). The 7 habits of highly effective people: Powerful lessons in personal change. New York:Fireside Publishers.
Tolle, E. (2004). The power of now: A guide to spiritual enlightenment. Vancouver BC: Namaste Publishers
© emergingrnleader.com 2015
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