Check In Before You Check On - Emerging Nurse Leader

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN

Nurse leaders often avoid small talk. Many have a directive style of communication and are task-driven. In ordinary times, this style of communication may have worked, but not today.

Many in our nursing workforce, including frontline leaders, have been exposed to sustained trauma over the past 18 months. What is needed is trauma-informed leadership. Trauma-informed leadership is an appreciation for the emotional world of personal and professional experiences that rumble beneath the surface of those who have been through a traumatic experience. The emotions of anger, pain, and negativity are not unusual. The trauma-informed leader recognizes and honors the emotional scars that people have. Leadership in this situation requires that we lead from the heart in a way that we may never have done before.

In her book Dare to Lead, Brene Brown makes the point that in these situations, “Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings or squander an unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior.” Leaders should strive to be relational in their first few minutes of interaction with staff, patients, and families, especially when angry or unreasonable.

Checking in with small talk allows you to build trust through mutual understanding BEFORE you rush in the check on what is happening. If you are not sure what to say, begin with questions such as:

How are you doing right now?
On a scale of zero to 10, what score would you give your wellbeing right now?
How can I best recognize the hard work that you are doing in managing this unit?
You transitioned into your leadership role at a difficult time, what challenges have you experienced?
You seem distressed. Can you talk about what’s happening to you?
This morning we talked about the number of breakthrough COVID cases in our transplant population and the inability of the vaccine to protect them adequately. I know your husband had a kidney transplant – how are you doing?
I can only imagine how challenging it must be with school-age children at this time. How are you holding up?
How has this pandemic changed the way you are approaching your life?
What are you doing to maintain your resilience during this challenging time?
What scares you most about what is happening now in healthcare?
Are there things I can do to support you right now?
I know your unit is very short-staffed right now; what has that been like for you and your team?
Where do you turn to for help when you need it?

Kouzes and Posner, in their Leadership Challenge, remind us how important it is to challenge the heart, especially in times like the present. Leaders who encourage the heart to bring others to life by recognizing their unique contributions, their emotions, and who they are as individuals. It is essential to all of us that what we do matters and that our leaders will notice good work and take an interest in who we are as humans. Thanking others may sound obvious but is often overlooked.

So as you approach interactions over the next six months, start by checking in before you check on. You may be amazed by what you learn.

References

Brown, B. (2018) Dare to Lead. New York: Random House Books.

Kouzes, J. & Posner, B.Z. (2017). The Leadership Challenge 6th Edition. New Jersey: Wiley Publishing.

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