Chasing Daylight - A Good Reminder about Life and Work

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, FAAN

Author’s Note: I first published this blog in 2012. I have since learned that the book I discuss in the blog is one resource that oncologists commonly give to their terminally ill cancer patients. Over the years, I have had so many nurses tell me that they read it and it helped them in their work and life. So I will tell the story again.

There was a book called Chasing Daylight published in 2006 about a nationally known business leader who discovered he had advanced stage glioblastoma. It is a story of how through his impending death, he learned to live in moment and face death squarely in the eye. Living in the moment was something that he had never been able to do in his busy and successful leadership career. The book became an international nonfiction bestseller and was recently cited as one of the top books read by political leaders in China. Remarkably, the book was written with the help of a writer in the 100 days between the author’s diagnosis and his death. This story hit very close to home because the author of the book was my brother – Eugene O’Kelly.

Gene’s diagnosis came as a tremendous shock to all of us. At 53 years of age, he was Chairman of KPMG, an international accounting firm. He was the leader of 20,000 employees across the United States. His life was a busy one full of 90+ hour workweeks and plenty of international travel. His calendar was routinely booked months in advance. Family time had to be carefully carved out. His youngest daughter, Gina, was only fourteen years old at the time of his diagnosis and death.

Like most of us, Gene thought his best years were ahead of him and he looked forward to a time when he could wind down his work. Prior to his diagnosis, he had relatively few symptoms. His brain cancer was so advanced at the time of diagnosis that his prognosis was poor. He was given less than six months to live. Remarkably, Gene accepted all of this bad news with grace and a profound sense of gratitude for the life that he had been able to lead.

Within two weeks of his diagnosis, he had resigned from his position as chairman. His goal was to live whatever time he had left to the fullest and to try to have as many perfect moments as possible. The ease with which he left his firm after a 30+ year career surprised all of us. He had always been so driven and passionate about his work.

He felt such a sense of clarity about how to approach his death that he decided to write a book although he had no prior experience as an author. He titled his book Chasing Daylight because of his love for golf, especially in the late afternoon. Golfers call these rounds chasing daylight as the sun begins to set. It seemed like a perfect metaphor for what he was experiencing with an advanced stage brain tumor and his loss of sight.

During his last 100 days, he used his accounting/CEO skills to set goals, re-order his priorities, say goodbye to his friends, write his book and prepare himself and his family for his passing. He began regular meditation/centering, something he had not done before in his life. He never regretted the professional drive that had brought him so much satisfaction, but he realized that he could have done a better job at balancing and still been effective in business, perhaps even more effective.

With his time very short, Gene had three major goals in the time he had left.

Gain clarity by removing clutter and distraction out of the way
Live with intensity by packing a lot into even the smallest moments.
Relish the perfect moments that happen all the time but we’re usually too busy to pick up on.

In all of our discussions, Gene would tell me that he had been given a gift. While no one wants to die he would say, knowing that you will die soon is a game changer. It forces you to live differently. So much of what mattered before his diagnosis on that fateful day in May of 2005, no longer mattered. His calendar was cleared and to a great extent, he began to live life in a way that he had never done before.

Perhaps one reason that his book has touched so many lives is that all of us can relate to these lessons learned. Within the context of our busy lives, it is easy to forget that any day could be our last. For emerging leaders just beginning your careers, the lessons that Gene learned are important ones. He would be the first to tell you to be passionate about your work but don’t forget to live your life.

Read to Lead

O’Kelly, E.D. with Postman, A. (2006). Chasing Daylight. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Read Rose Sherman’s new book available now – The Nurse Leader Coach: Become the Boss No One Wants to Leave