When You Feel Overwhelmed - Emerging Nurse Leader

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, FAAN

Last week, we did orientation for new graduate students to our Nursing Administration and Financial Leadership program. Many of these students are already in leadership roles, some with a significant level of responsibility. At one point, I noticed how quiet the room had become. I asked if they were feeling stressed – everyone laughed at that point. They had not even started yet and already they felt overwhelmed with how they were going to fit school into their already busy lives. Their reaction was understandable. All of us sometimes feel overwhelmed with our responsibilities. These feelings can lead to panic and sometimes we become immobilized with worry. Here are some important actions to take when you begin to feel this way:

1. Stop focusing on the big picture

While it is important to begin with the end in mind with most activities, this can cause greater stress in the moment if you are overwhelmed. A one day at a time or one activity at a time is often a much better way to start. As an example with my graduate students, I pointed out to them what specific activities they should focus on the first week of class. Find a quiet place to work and figure out a good time to do your work – things like this are important to getting started.

2. Slow down and do something even if it is just a small step

When I feel overwhelmed, I will often make a list of three things I can do right away that need to be done but won’t further stress my panicked brain. Focusing on small doable things at first is a good way to shut out the noise of everything that needs to get done. Overwhelming anxiety is an important indicator that we need to slow down and readjust our center.

3. Lower your expectations

Most leaders that I know have very high expectations of themselves often much higher than others have of them. Perfectionism can be your worst enemy. I find that students are sometimes devastated when they receive a B in a course. I tell our new students to expect that they will not be great in every course they take and may not receive all A’s. We all have our strengths – it is important to know them and lower your expectations in situations where you are not playing to your strengths.

4. Ask for help

We often think that we need to do everything ourselves. Sometimes if you ask for help, you may be surprised at the generosity that others are willing to provide and even good advice on how to move forward. I recently had a graduate student who enrolled in a challenging elective course in another discipline. She struggle through seven weeks of the semester and was panicked because she realized that she was in over her head. She called me on a Sunday afternoon in tears after spending the whole weekend on the course. I asked her why she waited so long before reaching out for help. She told me that she had always been so self-reliant and was embarrassed to admit that she could not do the work. We talked through her dilemma. She had not even considered just dropping the course or that quitting was an option. Ultimately, that is what she did. Yes, it did cost her tuition money but she quickly regained her mental health.

Michael Hyatt, a well known leadership expert, talks about the importance of recognizing that when you feel overwhelmed – it is a good reminder that you are not in total control of your life. Overcoming our stress and the panic of feeling overwhelmed is an opportunity for us to become more resilient as leaders and develop our character. It can also help us to be more empathetic with others when they are having this experience.

Read to Lead

Michael Hyatt (2015). Escape the Overwhelm Podcast.