Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

 

 

 

 

 

I was coaching a young leader the other day.  Her CNO was concerned because although she had good potential, she lacked emotional intelligence.  In talking with her, I realized that she expected staff to get used to the way she is – unfiltered and sometimes abrupt. Even in her discussion with me, I could see that she lacked self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and understanding of how her behavior impacts relationships. It was all about her.

This leader is not alone in need the strengthen her own emotional intelligence.  Unfortunately, nurse leaders’ management behaviors who lack emotional intelligence can result in higher staff turnover, reduced engagement, poor relationships with other departments, and an unhealthy work environment.

Although the concept of emotional intelligence has been written about since the early 1960s, it was popularized in 1995 by Daniel Goleman in his best-selling book Emotional Intelligence.   Emotional intelligence (EQ) is usually defined as self-mastery or the ability to understand and control what we feel (our emotions) and the way we act (our response to these emotions).  It is about self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. These 4 components of EI can be defined as follows:

• Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
• Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take the initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
• Social awareness – You can understand other people’s emotions, needs, and concerns, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.
• Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

Developing our Emotional Intelligence

Although there are tools out there to assess your emotional intelligence, such as this Quiz from the Harvard Business Review 1 Quiz Yourself Do You Lead with EI, there are also ways that leaders can do this on their own.  Here are 6 suggestions:

1. Seek Feedback on your behavior – this is hard to do at times, but research suggests that many of us do not have good barometers of how others are receiving us.
2. Evaluate all negative feedback and reactions to your behavior to look for evidence of where you may have problems with EI.
3. Self-reflect on how you have managed your emotions in highly charged situations with conflict– is there room for improvement?
4. Assess how you manage your stress level and whether this interferes with relationships with others.
5. Determine your EI strengths and weaknesses and develop a personal action plan.
6. Do cognitive rehearsals when confronted with difficult situations – assess in advance how you will manage if you are losing control of the situation.

To develop your emotional intelligence takes intentionality.  Saying “this is just who I am” will not lead to growth.  Instead, when you do make a mistake, step back and ask yourself what you will do differently in future situations.  Remember – your leadership success is highly dependent on your level of emotional intelligence.

Reference

Goleman, D., (1995) Emotional Intelligence, New York, NY, England: Bantam Books, Inc.

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