Why EQ Matters More than IQ in Leadership

By Rose O. Sherman, EdD, RN, NEA-BC, FAAN

I am coaching a nurse executive who has a dilemma with one of her directors. The director is in a key leadership role yet has issues relating to others with little insight into how she is perceived. Her behaviors include complaining about upper management, refusing to take responsibility for her mistakes, and intimidating staff and colleagues if they disagree with her. She does have some redeeming qualities. She is a good operational manager of a complex area and could not easily be replaced. The CNO is invested in at least trying to help her to improve her emotional intelligence.

This situation is not that unusual, When leaders fail, it is rarely because of the “hard skills” like financial management but rather because of challenges in their soft skills including emotional intelligence. Left unchecked, the behaviors of nurse leaders who lack emotional intelligence can result in higher staff turnover, reduced engagement, poor relationships with other departments and an unhealthy work environment.

Although the concept of emotional intelligence has been written about since the early 1960s, it was popularized in 1995 by Daniel Goleman with the publication of his best selling book Emotional Intelligence. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is usually defined as self-mastery or the ability to understand and control what we feel (our emotions) and the way we act (our response to these emotions). It is about self-awareness, self-management, social-awareness and relationship management. These 4 main components of EI can be define, as follows:

Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
Social awareness – You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.
Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

The Leadership Challenge with Emotional Intelligence

The nurse director I was discussing above has challenges in all four areas yet when confronted with her behavior – she will talk about how much her staff love her no-nonsense approach. She is tone deaf to the subtle reactions of others. Her direct and somewhat confrontational approach make it difficult for her direct reports to safely give her any feedback. The CNO might at this point choose to use a very robust 360 degree evaluation with input from many different sources to provide feedback that she is unlikely to get through conversations with staff.

When leaders themselves want to improve in this area, there are tools such as this Quiz from the Harvard Business Review 1 Quiz Yourself Do You Lead with EI . The leader can take the quiz and have trusted colleagues do it as well. Some additional ideas to improve emotional intelligence include:

Evaluate all negative feedback and reactions to your behavior to look for evidence of where you may have problems with EI.
Self-reflect on how you have managed your emotions in highly charged situations with conflict– is there room for improvement?
Assess how you manage your stress level and whether this interferes with relationships with others.
Determine your EI strengths and weaknesses and develop a personal action plan.
Do cognitive rehearsals when confronted with difficult situations – assess in advance how you will manage if you are losing control of the situation.

To develop your emotional intelligence takes intention but it is better to begin the process on your own than to be forced into it with a performance management plan. Saying “this is just who I am” will not lead to growth. Instead when you do make mistake, step back and ask yourself what you will do differently in future situations. Remember – your leadership success is highly dependent on your level of emotional intelligence.

Read Rose Sherman’s new book available now – The Nurse Leader Coach: Become the Boss No One Wants to Leave

Reference

Goleman, D., (1995) Emotional Intelligence, New York, NY, England: Bantam Books, Inc.